Every Rose Has Its Thorns
by GlassJaw
Summary: Chrystelle is a 'normal' girl who gets transported into Middle-Earth. Not a Sue, a pardoy though


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters except Chrystelle and her mom. Everything else belongs to the god, J.R.R. Tolkien who is spiffy. ________________________________________________________________________

She stalked out of her bedroom, drowsily walking into the bathroom. She squeezed her gray eyes shut. The fluorescent light burned her eyes as like every morning. The girl raked her hands through the knotted mass of brown tangles. She turned on the water and begun brushing her teeth.

Her name was Chrystelle. She hated her name though, but not as bad as her middle name, Isabel. She loathed being named after a dead Queen. So with either name, she was screwed. Chrystelle really hated it when her parents insisted on calling her 'Chrysie' too. Then again, she already hated her parents.

After a few minutes of preparing for school, Chrystelle walked back into her room. She flopped down on her white bed, her face smashed against the down comforter.

"Maybe I can convince mom that I'm sick …" she thought. Most of the time she was sick anyways, so it wouldn't really be that hard to trick her mother. She hadn't finished her 10 page report on 'The Wonders of Papermaking' either. 

Rambling down the stairs, Chrystelle yelled down to her mom who was vacuuming the kitchen. "Hey mom," she started, "I don't feel very well. Can I stay home?"

"Sure honey. Remember to get lots of rest. I'm going to go to work in an hour so you'll have the whole house to yourself." Mrs. Phrontus responded.

"Whatever." the teen smirked. She ran upstairs back into her room, almost tripping over herself. Sliding into the computer chair, she turned on the silver machine. After waiting only a few minutes, the computer had finally started up. Chrystelle then proceeded to double click on the icon, Internet Explorer. 

Her homepage finally loaded and she clicked on her 'Favorites'. Going through her anime sites to see if any updated, she noticed a very old book-marked site of hers called, *LFSOCLFG. Puzzled, she went to it. The page was all black except the few green words that marked it. 

"What the hell is this?" Chrystelle muttered. Finally she saw that one of the words said Enter.

"Might as well see what it is." she said. Bringing the arrow to it, she clicked the mouse. 

What happened wasn't what she had expected at all. Instead of going into a website, she was sucked into the computer, defying the laws of physics and probably a lot of other laws too. 

Hours seemed to have flown by before Chrystelle landed on solid ground. She fell out of nowhere onto her back and in a bush. A thorn bush mind you. With a scream, she loudly cursed. A figure quietly closed in on her.

"Damn mother fucking bushes." she swore. She had just gotten out of the thorns and was now pulling them out of her skin.

"26 … 27 … 28 … 29 …" the girl counted as she pulled the barbs out of her gray shirt and navy jeans. The mysterious individual crept up behind her.

"Who are you? State your name!" it ordered.

"Who the hell are you?" she yelled, turning around to face the young elf. She saw that he had long platinum blonde hair and had azure eyes. He was dressed in a green tunic with dark green leggings. He wore dark boots and black bracers. He was … the Prince of Mirkwood.

"Tell me your name mortal!" Legolas ordered once again. Slowly reaching towards his bow.

"No!" Chrystelle shouted. Without a moment's hesitation, she picked up a big long thorn, which also defies some laws, and stabbed Legolas through the heart.

"Ha ha! The nancer is going to die!" she laughed. Legolas meanwhile had fell to the ground and … died after a time period of Chrystelle just running around in circles, laughing like a maniac. She then ran to Thranduil's kingdom and torched the whole place just like Denethor. While it burned down, she screeched like the Nazgul and chased random chickens

Finally she was caught by the elves of Mirkwood and instantly killed. Her body was fed to the king, whom everyone wanted dead, and then he died too. All the elves then left to go to Valinor and humans took over everything soon after. They cut down the rainforests, burned fossil fuels, and bought Mercedes Benzes. Soon they all died too, but that was only because they re-forged the One Ring, brought Sauron back to life, and accepted his 25 cent rings. He then killed them all and lived happily ever after.

The End

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Heh, I was bored and it was late. I don't even understand this story myself. *shrug* I'll worry about it later. Hope you enjoyed it though ^_^;;;

*LFSOCLFG - Legolas Fan Site Of Crazed Legolas Fan Girls ^^;;;


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